Seaside, FL Tapped in Fight Against Ebola
Oct21

Seaside, FL Tapped in Fight Against Ebola

The well-loved and widely-respected people of Seaside, FL announced today that they have been asked by the Obama administration to help combat the spread of the Ebola virus. “It’s pretty simple, really,” a spokesperson for Seaside, FL  told us. “They want to keep people who have been to Africa or exposed to Ebola out of the country, right? Well, who knows more about putting people in their place and keeping them out of our place than...

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Walton County Sheriff’s Office Acquires Latest Accessory
Jul25

Walton County Sheriff’s Office Acquires Latest Accessory

The Walton County Sheriff’s Office (WCSO) has announced the latest acquisition to their armory this week.   Having already upset Hwy 30a’s usual hoplophobes–the remaining three people who still post on a certain local form under multiple pseudonyms (when not discussing penis-shaped cakes, that is)– with their recent purchase of a mine-resistant, ambush-protected vehicle (MRAP) for less than $3000 (a couple hundred...

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FSU Logo Model Unmasked, Casino Halted and Hwy 30a Returned to Rightful Owners
May06

FSU Logo Model Unmasked, Casino Halted and Hwy 30a Returned to Rightful Owners

While it may shock many, dismay some, thrill others and benefit virtually no one, 30aScene has just learned that the identity of the person used as the model for the new FSU logo, was none other than Hwy 30a’s own former ruler Big Chief Sandy. Hoping for comped rooms, drinks and prostitutes at the proposed 65-story mega-hotel, casino and cathouse, a handful of FSU art majors allegedly approached Big Chief Sandy and offered to use his...

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30a Residents Say "FSU Logo Is No Go — Take to Warpath"
Apr29

30a Residents Say "FSU Logo Is No Go — Take to Warpath"

From ‘Cola to ‘Cola,[1] from Saint to Saint.[2] All along what is variously referred to as “the Emerald Coast,” “Florida’s Great Northwest,” “the Panhandle” and (probably most accurately) “Lower Alabama”—aka north Florida—friendships are crumbling, houses are dividing, neighbors are feuding and brothers are being pitted against brothers. No, it’s not states’ rights versus emancipation. No, it’s not Republicans vs. Democrats. No, it’s...

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Hwy 30a Teenagers Form Union
Apr23

Hwy 30a Teenagers Form Union

Teenagers living in the Hwy 30a area, outraged over recent attempts by Walton County parents to use the coercive power of the police state to “make those brats behave,” have decided to take matters into their own hands and organize into their own labor union. As 30aScene recently reported, a group calling itself “People Against Kids Acting Like We Used To Act” (PAKALWUTA—which at the recommendation of one of the group’s teen-aged sons...

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