Blue Mountain Community A Chicken Refuge?
Jan14

Blue Mountain Community A Chicken Refuge?

Blue Mountain Beach Fl: Over the last few days, there has a been a rash of complaints flooding into multiple county agencies about chickens in Blue Mountain Beach. After hearing about these complaints, we sent our intern, Toothless Ted (who is majoring in Football Science at the University of Alabama), to investigate. According to multiple sources on Facebook…and one creepy looking dude hanging around the dumpster at McTighes,...

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Miramar Beach Man Beat to Death with Toy Light Sabers
Dec19

Miramar Beach Man Beat to Death with Toy Light Sabers

Santa Rosa Beach, Florida. – 30A Police say a local man, who was walking out of Friday’s premier of the New Star Wars Movie, was apparently bludgeoned to death by a group of nerds with toy light sabers. Resort security guards responded to a 911 call Friday evening around 9:53pm. The caller stated that some nerdy dude was being repeatedly hit about the face and ears by 27 “other nerdy folk” with toy light...

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30A to Become One Way Starting this Weekend
Aug26

30A to Become One Way Starting this Weekend

Scenic Highway 30A will soon be a one-way road Following a year and a half of complaints from a handful of shot-out residents, and a plethora of cyclists, the Department of Tourist Transportation has decided to begin the transition of Scenic Highway 30A to a one-way road on Labor Day Weekend. The plan is to maintain the right side of the road for auto traffic, while converting the left lane to cycles only. “The DOTT analyzed 30A for a...

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Top 10 Misnamed Restaurants and Other Places in South Walton
May20

Top 10 Misnamed Restaurants and Other Places in South Walton

Santa Rosa Beach Florida: As you may have already gathered, beer and liquor are pretty important to us here at 30ascene.com. Although we (and any reasonable person) could and would argue that liquor and beer are all you actually need to survive in this excellent life, we wouldn’t actually want to try it. Yes, food comes a close second to our beloved adult beverages, and fortunately for us (and you) there is a diverse group of...

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Hwy 30a’s Newest Business Tells Celebrities "Oh, Shut Up!"
May18

Hwy 30a’s Newest Business Tells Celebrities "Oh, Shut Up!"

A rag-tag collection of self-professed community leaders, entrepreneurs and at least one person who claims he once worked for the CIA (but is not allowed to talk about it unless a movie comes out) have opened the latest chapter in Hwy. 30a’s penny-dreadful series of ill-advised business ventures. Calling themselves BITCH ESKORTS (“Business Individuals Training Celebrity S***Heads to Evade the Spotlight and Keep Out of Real Trouble”),...

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