Heisman Winner, "sex was consensual, but the crabs were not."
May01

Heisman Winner, "sex was consensual, but the crabs were not."

As many of you have already heard or read, Jameis Winston was cited recently for “forgetting” to pay for his crabs at Publix. Eye witness accounts, however, tell a much different story. According to a confidential (and probably unreliable source) named Ethel, “That guy was in a consensual relationship with the seafood clerk. How do I know?” she asked as if we actually had asked her. ” Because he is up...

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Video Reveals Possible “Second Thrower” at St. Paddy’s Parade
Mar19

Video Reveals Possible “Second Thrower” at St. Paddy’s Parade

When Hwy. 30a’s St. Patrick’s Day parade was disrupted by protesters Saturday, authorities quickly announced an arrest and closed their investigation into the matter. “We are confident,” a WCSO press release later stated, “that the person in custody acted on his own, was not part of a larger conspiracy and is the lone thrower.” Now, however, 30aScene has been given evidence to indicate that there was a second...

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Locals Protest St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Attack Grand Marshal
Mar17

Locals Protest St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Attack Grand Marshal

Hwy. 30a’s St. Patrick’s Day parade was disrupted by a group of protesters Saturday as it reached it’s end at the square at Gulf Place.  The group was identified as “30Atheists” and is believed to be an offshoot of “Occupy 30a.”  We contacted a spokesperson for 30Atheists, who identified himself only as “Bob,” and asked about their objections to the parade. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,” Bob said again and again.  “The...

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Local Pastry Shop Expanding to Better Serve Local Deputies
Mar12

Local Pastry Shop Expanding to Better Serve Local Deputies

South Walton County, Florida- The Donut Hole, famous for their country themed lunches, down home breakfasts and delicious cop-enticing donuts, believe that the deputies working the Southeast end of the county are really getting the crappy end of the stick.   Basically, the deputies on the east end of the county miss out on the fun, debauchery and donuts that the ones on the West end enjoy. “They totally miss out!” said a...

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South Walton Racial Segregationists Planning Rally on March 2nd.
Feb27

South Walton Racial Segregationists Planning Rally on March 2nd.

Seaside® Florida- Apparently, a pro segregationist group will be shutting down an entire portion of Scenic Hwy 30A this Sunday to hold some sort of 5k rally. We believe that 5k (or kkkkk) is much worse than the regular kkk because they have two more “k’s” in their name. The chapter has been granted a demonstration permit and as a result, no cars, bikes, golf carts or other races will be permitted on the Western...

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