Blue Mountain Beach Fl: Over the last few days, there has a been a rash of complaints flooding into multiple county agencies about chickens in Blue Mountain Beach. After hearing about these complaints, we sent our intern, Toothless Ted (who is majoring in Football Science at the University of Alabama), to investigate.
According to multiple sources on Facebook…and one creepy looking dude hanging around the dumpster at McTighes, the chickens are actually escapees from a secret near by cock fighting ring. The ring is allegedly located in a place that we are prohibited from mentioning on our site…thanks to a cease and desist letter. Damned Lawyers! Anyway, if you were to look on a map at the areas between Western Lake and the Seagrove community, you’ll get an idea of where we’re talking about.
“The shickeens are seeking asshoolum (asylum),” said the creepy dude who slurred so badly that he sounded like a drunk Sean Connery with a mouth full of gummy bears. “They know that it’s more safe here, than over there,” he added while lazily pointing wildly to his left. (He was facing the back door of Mctighes…just in case you didn’t have a visual of where he was pointing.)
His accusations, which actually lead us to write our first article in 8 months, seemed peculiar…and much like a crock of the white stuff on chicken crap…which if you haven’t heard the joke, is also chicken crap… but being the Pulitzer level journalists that we are, we dug further.
According to another source, who was attempting to sneak a view and listen over the fence at the 30A songwriters festival in Grand Boulevard (which is not even near 30A… just saying), there was indeed a cock fighting club located just east of Grayton Beach…
After further questioning, we found that this particular ring didn’t involve chickens whatsoever, and even though Toothless Ted wanted to question him further about this particular type of Cock Fighting Ring, we left immediately without any further questions…because that’s none of our business…not that there’s anything wrong with it…
Anyway, where was I?…Oh yeah….So, there seems to be a secret Cock (chicken…not the other) Fighting Ring located right here in the heart of 30A, and many of the chickens are escaping and seeking sanctuary in Blue Mountain Beach.
We will bring you more “facts” as this story develops. In the meantime, let us know how you feel about chicken being so plentiful on 30A in the comments below.