South Walton County, Florida- The Donut Hole, famous for their country themed lunches, down home breakfasts and delicious cop-enticing donuts, believe that the deputies working the Southeast end of the county are really getting the crappy end of the stick. Basically, the deputies on the east end of the county miss out on the fun, debauchery and donuts that the ones on the West end enjoy.
“They totally miss out!” said a Hole insider, “The deputies on the west end have all kinds of fun hanging with the collegiate spring breakers. Plus, they have convenient access to our quality pastries.”
As a result, the owners have built a brand new, state of the art, 6,500 sq ft donut-making phenom on the eastern end of the county near Inlet beach. This location, set to be opened tomorrow, March 13th, will bring state of the art donut technology to the eastern end of the county. This new location for pastry facilitation will feature all of the greasy goodness that you have come to expect from their Destin and Santa Rosa Beach locations, but with an upscale appeal. Which possibly means that the wait staff will be wearing bow ties, talking with their teeth clinched together and will all be named, or at least called, “Biff” or “Buffy.”…but we really don’t know.
Another insider, who may or may not actually be affiliated with any business in South Walton county, tells us that, “they (the po-po) are working hard chasing meth dealers, shooting dogs, keeping us all safe from the suburbanites visiting Rosemary Beach, preventing Panama City tourists from invading our area, and making sure that all registered sex offenders located on the northern side of 98 in Old Santa Rosa Beach are kept in check–I think they’re dropping off free porn so they’ll all stay indoors.”
“We love the fuzz,” said one Donut Hole regular through a mouth full of Bavarian creme which looked kind of gross. “They bust their tails serving the community and deserve much more than we can give. It’s nice that the owners of the Donut Hole have decided to step up and provide them what they love most…delicious donuts on the east end.”
One local deputy, who seemed downright giddy about the addition said, “I cannot wait. I spend most shifts on the southeast end chasing meth dealers through Pt. Washington in order to make sure they stay out of Seaside® and Rosemary. This new location will be a lot more convenient. It’s a real pain in the tazer to have to stop what I’m doing to drive all the way over to the west end every 30 minutes for a cup of coffee and donuts.”