HWY 98 Gas Station to be Converted to Strip Club

Santa Rosa Beach Florida- The gas station on the corner of Hwy 98 and West Hewitt–across from Smallmart– will soon be given a new purpose.

Currently awaiting approval from planning and zoning, Gold Club Oil announced plans today to convert the self service gas station into a Southern style chicken restaurant and gentlemen’s club.

Gold Club Oil CEO Tasty McMurphy says, “With all the other specialized boutique shops in the area seeing so much success, we genuinely thought that a boutique gas station would be a profitable venture, but unfortunately no one seems to want to pay $9.99 a gallon for boutique fuel, no matter how much perfumed food coloring and confetti glitter we put in it. As a result, we have decided to change our business model entirely.”20140223_113325

When asked about the possibility of just lowering the gas prices, McMurphy said, “It makes more sense to convert the business model, Everybody loves chicken and the only thing that can make chicken better is having someone naked near it.”

This proposal has not come without its critics. Reverend  James “Peaches” McGuirk of the First United States of America Holiness Methodist Episcopalian Congregation of Catholic and Jewish Righteousness, who is heading the opposition said, “Like most people, we love chicken, but we prefer to have ours without naked sinfulness. That is a business concept best left to Destin and Panama City.”

20140223_113332McMurphy declined a response to Reverend Peaches comments, but did say that he thought the new business model would bring “cultural enrichment and additional value to the South Walton Community.”He also said that he thought that the name of the establishment would be a “great addition to the list of creative business names in the community.”

“We have narrowed the name of the business down to three choices,” he continued; “The Jump and Pump, to stay with the gas station theme; Breasts and Thighs; or Chicken Strips.”

The public is invited to vote on their favorite name via the comment box below this article

30Ascene will bring you more on this story as it develops.

Author: Westipher G. Collins

Share This Post On