Santa Rosa Beach: If you’re new to living here in paradise, or have never visited during spring break, then you don’t really know how to prepare for the onslaught that thousands of college kids can bring to the beach. In many ways it’s chaos. While a majority of the kids come down, have a good time, and just party responsibly, there is a loud minority who make things a little crazy for themselves and others.

Here are some alternative activities and tips that should help you survive Spring Break:

 

1. Stay Away from the Beach…maybeIf you prefer your beach days to be quiet and relaxing, then you definitely want to stay away from most of the local beaches during spring break. Yes, I know….the days are getting warmer. I didn’t say the temptation wouldn’t be overwhelming, but thanks to the future leaders of the world, the beach is going to be anything but quiet…or relaxing. As a matter of fact, it’s quite chaotic.

On the other hand, if you’re like me and enjoy watching binge drinkers do stupid things, and/or start fights with their homies, then you definitely want to be at the beach every day of spring break…’cause you might miss something if you’re not. Plus, the Sherriff’s department will be arresting folks right and left. So, it’s a like you’re in the studio audience of Live PD….which is awesome!

NOTE: You should definitely leave your kids at the house, however. It’s no place for impressionable young ones.

2.  Don’t be tricked into buying beer for that one kid hanging outside the liquor storeWhile he may make an appealing argument and appears to be a good kid who might be responsible for his age, there are laws against this and you could end up in jail. Plus, if he doesn’t already know a kid with a fake ID or have one himself, he’s a loser and you don’t want to be considered a loser by association. Regardless of how much of his dad’s trust fund he offers you, it’s just a bad idea. Plus, he could be a narc.

3. Be prepared to try new/other beers If you’re a big fan of Nasty Lite, or Busch, or Coors Lite, or Miller Lite, or Bud Lite, or PBR, or Budweiser, or any other cheap domestic beer, then you’re not going to be happy. You either need to stock up now or try a real beer. Why? Because there is most definitely going to be a run on your brand…and plus, there are much better beers available.

We would highly suggest the Divide & Conch’r by Idyll Hounds, or Hooter Brown by Oyster City.  Both are locally brewed on the Emerald Coast, and both are excellent.

4. If you need to run errands, go before 11 am: College kids sleep late, so if you need something from Publix or Ace Hardware, go before they wake up. They just got into bed at 6 am, so chances are you’ll avoid seeing them all together if you can get out before lunch.

 

Some alternative activities you may want to consider during Spring Break:

I know it’s tough not to heed the call to go to the beach. It’s like a magnet this time of year. It’s getting warmer, the water is at it’s most emerald greenness (is that a word), and the surf is calling out to you. To avoid the chaos that all of these colleges bring to the beach, you may want to consider some of these alternative activities:

  1. Do some day drinking at some of the restaurants that aren’t located on the beach. This is a socially acceptable activity down here, so don’t feel bad.
  2. Take up pickleball. It’s like lazy tennis for day drinkers and old people.
  3. Start that reclaimed pallet project you’ve been thinking about.
  4. Make wagers with friends on how many arrests local authorities will make during spring break.
  5. Volunteer at a local nonprofit.
  6. Day drink some more, but this time do it at home or on your neighbor’s porch when they’re not home.
  7. If you’re independently wealthy or a lottery winner, take the family to Disney for the month.
  8. Go to church and pray for the future of our country….which is currently passed out drunk in a hole they dug in the sand somewhere on the beach.

So, there you have it. Did we miss anything? If so, please be sure to comment on our Facebook or Twitter pages so that we may include it in next year’s guide.